TTR - Semana Ocho
I Like to Switch Hit
Tio Blasie
Week 8 TTR Presented by Tio Blasie:
Stickin' to the code, all these hoes for the streets
I put it in her nose, it's gon' make her pussy leak
Pussy niggas told, ain't gon' wake up out they sleep
You can't hear that switch, but you can hear them niggas scream
I know you muthafkrs were expecting a poem to start this TTR so I’m dropping that Future on you.
We’re in the bottom of the 15th and I can’t even see straight as I’m drafting this shit. So, if there are typos or hurtful truthful things that upset you, please remember you can dislike me all you want but whoopin my ass is another story.
It’s the back half of the season and Grue and I decided it was time to switch it up for a week. He’s been coddling you, rubbing your bellies and caressing you gently….all because he’s been in the 7th level of hell with his crap ass team. I am not burdened with that handicap.
Not a lot of drama this weekend. A lot of teams won handily, and it wasn’t even close a lot ike the Goats and Rudy match ups. The worst, Cory is winning by ONE HUNDRED POINTS right now(as I type this)….I mean Nick has two players to go but I doubt he gets closer than 75 points. Nick says it’s just one game (like a guy telling a girl, ‘this has never happened to me’) but my goodness what a performance by Cory’s team.
Right now, the bottom 4 of goats is starting to take shape and the top 3 of Rudy (Matt, Me, and Angel) are primed…Cory declared war and vowed to make a big run and his team is backing it up. ManChild’s great replacement quest is running downhill and with a purpose. These are just the frontrunners for the moves….a couple missteps or an untimely injury or late night of drinking and forgetting to change your lineup may alter your course from comfortable position to the bitch bracket. And I’m certain that J, Grue, Brett and T Goods would gladly trade their impending fates with any of you who have settled. Tick Tock boys!
Jobu’s Rum vs Little Cam
In a world full of crypto ponzi schemes and AI drivel, it really is beautiful to see some old-fashioned crime like the Louvre heist Trevor pulled on Grue.
But the true heist was at the draft when he selected JT and people audibly said: horrible pick, terrible pick, what a waste. Twhite there is very little I respect about you but that sir was the steal of the draft. I’m looking forward to Trevor’s next trade rapage, cause there’s gonna be at least one more. And he looks to be cruising to a division title with very little resistance.
Jeff – MASH unit roster….its a complete surprise that you’re 4-4, did you play J and grue 5 times? 3rd lowest scoring team so far this season and it doesn’t look like it’s improving. I know you’ll make some moves to have a last gasp for a playoff spot…too bad Grue already gave up the goodies or he’d be the ideal candidate. The good news, someone must come in first for the Jobu bowl, might as well be you.
Trevan v J
Trevan - Tucker Kraft is kinda good at football. And your bench was producing too. I am not sure J ever had a chance. I wonder at what point J closed the MFL app for good on Sunday? Trevan is poised for a big run. BUT. CAN. THEY. FINISH.? Probably needs some WR 2 help but other than that not a lot of holes in their setup. Evan is like a beta fish, he’s beautiful and wants to fight everyone and this week J got whooped. And you owe my cousin money for your cigarettes.
Oh J – was it the jet lag? Or was it that you couldn’t stop reliving the molestation you got from the all the Columbian women on the streets of Medellin? This is a very Un-J-like draft and season. I think your goat’s luck may have finally run out. I can’t even imagine how every day you try to convince yourself that ‘this year doesn’t matter’ or ‘I’m just focusing on my family this year’. But there’s gotta be moments in the truck or on the shitter where you’re imagining Andrew getting stung on his dick by a scorpion. Cause this is all his fault, right? I talked to the boys, and we’re willing to let you in on the Rudy chat now.
John’s Dog v Ohhhhh Drake London is out .9
What a comeback of ineptitude? Leaves a player who is out in his lineup and still covers. I bet Josh has made a voodoo doll of Brandon and just kept piercing his dick over and over (wink wink). DK would have gotten you there. Been debating a lot of FF fans about if close losses are worse than getting smashed by 40. This was one of 2 games where the vape pens were being stressed tested. What a good week you had but the QJ goose egg killed you. The good news is there’s a lot of season left, the bad news is there’s a lot of season left.
Brandon – if you ever decide to pay attention you might make for a champion yet but I’m feeling like we may never have to concern ourselves with that.
Goose Egg Central v Trevor 2.0
Denver giveth with a real-life win but they taketh away in Fantasy. The former #1 TE in the league (now re-occupied by Kraft) with a proper bagel. All that good defense and they only handed out 8pts to your lineup. Jeudy was also neutralized. Is this a fluke or the result of your draft rounds 10-15, I love having a good time at the draft but being a walking zombie for the last few rounds and having J (Check his team) sponsor your last couple picks may not have been the best as you’re hoping to repeat as Champ. Also, whoever the MC was at the time made you take a kicker, brutal.(IT WAS ME!!!)
T Goods – Left some meat on the bone on your bench this week. I don’t love your RBs or your WRs. And this shit fest all started at the draft when you witnessed Twhite draft JT. And then went with Achane. It’s gotta feel like you’re sitting in the hotel cuck chair sobbing as JT gives long deep backshots to every team he suits up against. Man, he was right there….this is really gonna fuck you up, even if he was there for you in the 2nd round, would you have taken him? You better figure some shit out cause you are on the cusp of a rudy relegation.
Check your Kupp v The Not So Better Half
On Monday morning Zak was down by 8 and projected to win by 1. (PROJECTIONS ARE NOT KEY – Especially with this janky ass app). Minute by minute Rashee moved and Rodriguez stood on the sidelines. And with 7:52 left in the game Rashee finally got across the finish line and got Zak in the win column.
Who knew Troy Franklin was almost going to outscore all your other WRs combined? When you and Twhite ran a team together, I always thought you were like 2 peas in a pod but y’all were really two Rees in a Tard, well him not so much. Bye-mageddon hit you hard and you are not in an easy division. With the 2nd lowest scoring squad, you have your work cut out for you. Here is the silver lining for you, Section 8 and EBT are getting cut off soon, so is gonna be $20 again.
Some of you may have mistakenly read the Rudy TTR last week and there was a message in there about attending MC events. Long story short, you should absolutely attend those events.
Tio Blas’ goat ranking:
All the Rum
Brandon
AP
Zak
Wick’s K9
T Goods
The Little Cam that couldn’t
That muthafkr Grue
The Worst Half
Lily’s husband
And you muthafkrs are outside your brains if you think I’m writing this shit every week next year, if I move up to Goats that is.
Tio Blasie out!