TTR - Week 10

Sorry for the week off, I don't always feel motivated to write these and the little snots at school are demanding more and more of my time. Also, there was this whole fire thing. I hope that everyone is safe from it and everyone's power is back on. I know you all need those garage beers CRISPY for Sundays. Without further ado...

Kupp Check vs. The Bad Hombres - Winner: Kupp Check

The walls are closing in on Angel. That patented luck that's been a staple of his 2 championship runs has all but vanished. After a historic Thursday Night performance for Joe Cool, the rest of his team decided not to show up. Breece Hall managed 10 points and the rest couldn't muster double digits. BUT STILL Angel found himself leading going into Monday night. You see, Jared Goff had turned into Jared Goof and thrown not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, but FIVE, count em 5 interceptions. The rest of Zak's team had not fared much better. Zak had to rely on 8chan and Tyreek against the stout Rams defense to deliver a win. In one of the worst MNF games I have ever watched, the two Dolphins squeaked out a victory for our boy Zak. This loss now puts Angel in the Jobu bracket. Can he climb out, or will he go Hero to Zero in 1 season?

Brevor's Better Half vs. 2 Flushes - Winner: 2 Flushes

For some reason, Brett started every Ravens player available and on Thursday night, they cooked. Lamar showed why he's won all those MVPs and a resurgent Mark Andrews scored another TD. Unfortunately, that's where the good decision-making ended. Brett failed to replace Austin Seibert who was out and recorded a nice goose egg. I had Jalen Hurts absolutely destroying the Cowgirls and Chubba Hubba netting me 22 points before I even woke up Sunday morning. Still there was a chance Monday night with Kyren and Robinson. However, as stated, the Rams shit the bed on national television and then decided to sit and stew it in for 60 minutes. Kyren failed to score a TD for the first time all season because no one on the Rams scored a TD. Fucking depressing. At least I won though, thanks boys. 

Kirko' 2 Canes vs. Catalina Wine Mixon - Winner: Ja'Marr Chase

Yeah, Trevan lost to Ja'Marr Chase. I could say more, but what else is there? The man dropped FIFTY fucking points. All the rest of Brandon's team had to do was show up and that was enough. The boys did their best though, again the Eagles decimated the Cowboys, or rather the setting sun decimated the Cowboys. Did you know JerryWorld is the only stadium in the league where the field faces East and West? Do you know why that is? Yeah, it's because of the sun. Now you know more than Jerry Jones. Trevan is still tied for the best record AND got CMC back this week. It really sucks that my best-case scenario is facing them in the 2nd round of the playoffs. Fuck. 

Razor Bearclaw Stinger vs. Puka Nacua Matata - Winner: RBS

What in the name of total mediocrity is this? First we have 73 - 72.6 and now we have 85.8 - 77.55. Common boys, act like you've been here before. Also, Cory, who the fuck is Jonathon Brooks? Why would you choose to start someone who's questionable when their game starts at 6 in the fucking morning? Jesus. I know you've got a lot on your plate but even Justice Hill would have been an improvement. And he scored ONE point. Also I kept joking about Kirk Cousins turning into a rotten pumpkin after Kirktober, but that has actually happened to Sam Darnold. Yeah, I don't know if the NFL just has tape on Darnold now or if he just sucks again. I'm going with the latter. Sam Darnold sucks again. Everything eventually regresses to the mean. Except the Chiefs because God hates us.  Unfortunately, Sam Darnold is now dragging down even the likes of JJ. You know who else sucks though? DA BEARS. Caleb Williams is at least a rookie, so having some rough starts is normal, but the whole organization sucks and they just fired their HC. The problem though goes much, MUCH deeper than that. Holy shit I just saw Cory started the Giants? Bruh have you watched them? I was going to say you both deserved to lose this one, but Cory REALLY deserved to lose. 

The Bed Wrestlers vs. John Wick's Dog - Winner: Who's a good boy?

There's still some fight in this old dog! (And I do mean old). Josh kept his 1% chance of making the playoffs alive by beating Garrett. Garrett, I like you, but you can't keep doing this every year. You always start off super only to fall apart before the finish line. I'm looking at your team and it's not exactly filling me with hope. I mean Jayden Daniels had his worst game of the season, but Bijan also had his best game of the season, so...this is kinda playing up to full potential. Josh, THANK YOU for finally benching Rodgers. I wanted him to do well too, for the memes, but he's kinda washed. Herbie the Love Bug did not disappoint. Puka is also back from his vacation for "punching" a guy in the helmet and looks like his old self. He won't be held out of the endzone much longer. So this is one win, if you win next week, that's 2, and if you happen to win the week after, that's called a winning streak. Let's try for that. 

Chris vs. Jason - Winner: Jason

Oddly enough, this was Mahomes's second-best game of the season, yet it wasn't enough to give Chris the best record in the league. King Henry had a rather uninspiring game and CD ROM was downgraded to a floppy drive trying to catch passes from Copper Rush. Saquaon also had a quiet game this week, no more reverse-hurdling fools. J got decent starts from a lot of guys, even the Chargers held back the Chargering for this week. Starting Stafford over Kyler was an interesting choice though. I get the LA love but Kyler has been banned from Xbox Live, so his life is ball now. 

Worst Team

QB Williams 7.5

RB Brooks 0

RB Javonte 1.7

WR Devonte 2.4

WR Thomas Jr. 2.2

FLEX Robins 2.8

TE Conklin 1.3

K Seibert 0

D Jets 2

TOTAL: 19.9 points

Yikes, hopefully you don't see your players on this list, unless you're playing me next week then I hope you see ALL your players on this. I need wins badly to stave off the Jobu. All I want for Christmas is a playoff berth. 

I'd like to extend a special TTR welcome to Nick for coming in mid-season and agreeing to stay in the dank, disgusting pit that is the Rudy league for another season. It takes a real degenerate to do something like that. I think you'll fit in perfectly here. Can't wait to hang out and shoot the shit. As happy as I am that you have joined us, this does rob us of more opportunity for Blas to beat himself by putting Ja'Marr Chase in his opponent's lineup. Holy shit that was funny. (I'm definitely getting molested again for this comment.) Either way, 

ALL HAIL MANCHILD