TTR - Week 13

TTR WEEK 13 -  Do or Die

This is it, folks, the last week before the playoffs. One last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer. So sack up and make it happen boys. Unfortunately for me, I am royally fucked by byes this week. In week 14, WEEK FUCKING 14. I have 3 starters from last week who AREN'T on a bye this week. In a must-win game to stay out of the Jobu. 

Kupp Check vs. John Wick's Dog: Winner Kupp Check

This was a matchup. A fantasy game was played. Players scored points. Some did not score that many points. Others scored a lot of points. Someone named Devaughn Vele exists. There is also another man named John Parker Romo. These are both fun names. I don't know boys, you look at this score and come up with something. One thing is for sure though. The long slow march to the Jobu is nearly coming to an end. Zak delivered a swift kick to the sad, old dog. 

Brevor's Better Half vs. VonMeez4Prez: Winner Brevor

In the most surprising game of the year, Brevor blew the #1 seed out of the water. So many guys balled out this week. Lamar: Balled out. Bucky: Balled out. Kyren: Balled out. Dem Boys: BALLED THE FUCK OUT. Every single starter put up a solid performance with most of them having the best game of the year. What's insane is that he missed out on an even BIGGER. Replacing Flowers with Jeudy would have meant 183 points. Madness. Hey Chris, don't worry kid, this just happens sometimes. You'll bounce back I promise. Don't worry, you and your best friend are entwined by fate, so his team lost too. 

Kirko' 2 Canes vs. The Bed Wrestler: Winner The Bed Wrestlers

Josh Allen was THIS | | close to winning it for you boys in the Snow Bowl but it wasn't enough. Jaden Daniels looks like he's back to his early-season self and the Falcons remembered that they have Bijan Robinson. All of this resulted in a much-needed win for Garrett. This was great and all Garrett, I'm so happy for you and all that, but if you could go back to sucking for one week that would be great, thanks. Now Trevan, don't worry kid, this just happens sometimes. You'll bounce back I promise. Don't worry, you and your best friend are entwined by fate, so his team lost too. You'll need to be at full strength though, Chris' team is pretty good. Wait what's that? CMC is dead AGAIN. Oh shit oh fuck...

Razor Bearclaw Stinger vs. The Bad Hombres: Winner RBS

There will NOT be a threepeat. Angle has officially punched his ticket to the Jobu bracket with yet another loss. Brock THE ROCK Bowers tried his hardest, but he couldn't carry the rest of the team's dead weight enough to keep hope alive. The 49ers also shit the bed and with a 0. I'd like to point out that a certain, much-maligned RB is STILL on the roster through his bye week. Jeff hits this week with a return to form as well. He takes advantage of Brandon's loss and cements himself in first place. I gotta give props to Jeff both for starting Jonnu over LaPort AND starting DJ Moore, who ended up being his top receiver this week. Those are the type of decisions that win championships. That and being active on the waiver wire all season. 

Puka Nacua Matata vs. 2 Flushes: Winner 2 Flushes

Thank you Quentin Johnston, George Kittle your sacrifice did not go unnoticed. I was sweating the entire game. I didn't even want to watch it but my fiance had 2 players in the Monday SundayNight game so I had to watch. I felt pretty good after the half and then slowly started getting hopeful. Those last couple drives were stressful though. Herbert Purdy just kept throwing to him and then he just kept dropping it. Then the final drive got extended by 27 pass interference penalties the snow, and the whole time I'm a single TD pass away from losing. Tense stuff, but the better team won out. Just kidding, I definitely should have lost, I had Najee and Allen on the bench, both would have been my top scorer. There was a 40-point difference between my actual score and my ideal score. CJ Stroud is in a brutal sophomore slump and now after that brutal hit, his team may be cursed. The defense sure was, let's see how they come out of the bye. What's fun about Cory's team is his bench has multiple people I've never heard of. Who's Jonathan Brooks? What is a Legette? Anyway, you're free to ball out next week. 

DID JOSH WIN?? Answer: No, but Jason did

Jason snorting that BoCaine all the way to the bank! Bo Nix had some INSANE passes this week, I'm pretty surprised that he only got 16 points though. That's okay though because Chase, Cook, Jacobs, and especially the Broncos D all outscored him. It's not even like Brandon had a bad week. Russell Wilson cooked up his best game of the season. He dropped 29 points and now the Steelers look like Super Bowl contenders. What the fuck is going on this year? Had both managers started their ideal lineups, Brandon would have pulled out a win, 144 - 140. Great matchup all around boys, 10 out of 10, no notes. 

Rudy Jobu League

None of you beat Brett, in a 6 man league. Go fuck yourselves. 

Worst Team

QB Goff 8.45

RB Hubbard 2.3

RB Walker III 5.9

WR Coopers 2.7

WR Deebo 2

FLEX Vele 2.1

TE Kittle 1.2

K Sanders 3

D 49ers 0

TOTAL: 27.65

There were a lot of high-scoring games this week, therefore a lot of high-scoring players. But if you look hard enough, there's always shit to be harvested. I like the part where the 49ers were the worst defense two weeks in a row. They only need to keep that up until they play the Rams. Last week of the regular season coming up boys. Let's DO THIS, LET'S 

ALL HAIL MANCHILD