TTR - Year In Review

Saturday, September 30, 2017.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim played the Seattle Mariners at Angels Stadium, and Mike Trout went 0-5 including a pop up with the bases loaded down 6-4 in the bottom of the 8th. I was there with my oldest son.

But none of that is significant…

What is significant is why we were in the stands on that cool Fall evening.

I took Carter to see an Angels game so we could spend some valuable time together on the long car ride to and from Anaheim.

Even more significant…the topic of discussion...you see 9.30.17 is the day that my boy and I had “The Talk.” And since the ManChild Line app history demonstrates that we all talk about sex, albeit usually of the gay and/or pornographic variety, enough (and probably too much), I’ll share just this fun exchange, which occurred at the end of our conversation (BTW I didn’t even broach the topic until we were just past Downtown Los Angeles.)

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(Nearing Commerce Casino)

Me: And those are some of the things that are and will be going on with your body, and that’s how babies are made.

Carter: Is that how my brothers and I were made?

Me: Yes, of course.

Carter: You and mommy had sex?

Me: Yes.

Carter: Do you still have sex?

Me: Yes, yes we do.

Carter: A lot?

Me: (sly grin)

Carter: Do you like it?

Me: Yes, it is really great. Mommy and daddy both…

Carter: (cutting me off) Dad, let’s talk about something else, I am done with this topic.

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So my ManChild brothers I present the “Where does my winning fantasy football team come from?” Edition of TTR...the last TTR of the 2018 season.

Tuesday (on a Wednesday) Toilet Reading - 2018 End of Season

1/2/19

The road to a ManChild Championship is fraught with pitfalls, everything from season ending injuries to indefinite holdouts to surprise studs to last minute interceptions. It takes skill, research, courage, and quite a bit of luck to run the gauntlet from Draft Day to Championship. However, we can learn some interesting things in hindsight, so here are my last two 2018 observations:

RBs and WRs matter, QBs significantly less so, draft accordingly. I’ve written about this before in the TTR, but bear with me here: the average draft position of a 2018 top-12 RB is draft position 38.8 in Round 3.3, a top-12 WR gets you draft position 30 in Round 3. However, a top-12 QB’s average draft position is 80.9 in Round 7.1. Anybody taking Mahomes in Round 1 or 2 next year?

A fast start, especially division wins, are crucial. No team with a losing division record made it into the playoffs, and only, eventual champion Jason, came back from a losing record after Week 7 (and that feat took finishing the regular season on a 6 game win streak).

Bonus Feature:

Now this is a time of mourning and reflection for 11 teams, and in a fit of regret and self-loathing, I wondered what would it take to craft the perfect draft for 2018. So here is my estimation of the near-perfect draft from my #4 slot for 2018 with my actual draft for comparison in parenthesis.

The Near-Perfect Draft - #4 Spot

1: Christian McCaffrey, RB3 (Alvin Kamara, RB4)

2: Joe Mixon, RB9 (Jerick McKinnon, preseason IR)

3: Tyreek Hill, WR1 (Adam Thielen, WR7)

4: JuJu Smith Schuster, WR8 (Larry Fitzgerald, WR29)

5: Zack Ertz, TE2 (NAILED IT)

6: Tariq Cohen, RB13 (Isaiah Crowell, RB32)

7: Tyler Locket, WR15(Michael Crabtree, WR55)

8: Matt Ryan, QB2 (Carson Wentz, QB23)

9: Chris Carson, RB15 (NAILED IT)

10: Patrick Mahomes, QB1 (NAILED IT)

11: Bears, D/ST1 (Texans, D/ST4)

12: James White, RB8 (Mike Williams, WR24)

13: Tyler Boyd, WR17 (John Brown, WR43)

14: James Connor, RB6 (Aaron Jones, RB23)

15: Ka’imi Fairbairn, K1 (Harrison Butker, K5)

Best guess is this team goes 12-1 (still losing to my 2018 fantasy kryptonite, Wes, in Week 8), averaging a whopping 137.2 points per game. It sets a league all-time record of 172.2 in Week 10 and then breaks its own record in Week 12 with an otherworldly 188.7. Most likely this team easily makes its way through the playoffs, although a loss to Jason’s 136.8 in the Championship Game isn’t outside of the realm of possibility.

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I sign off for the 2018 season with this…thank you…thank you for all the laughs…for the top-notch trash talk…for giving me the rapturous joy of victory, and the soul-crushing agony of defeat…for reading my ramblings and stats nerd metrics…for the brotherhood…ALL HAIL MANCHILD!!

0.5 Commish, OUT!!