TTR Week 11

This was a rough week for Men of the Leg. Santos' would-be game-winning kick was blocked, McPherson missed 2 field goals, and Tucker missed 2 FGs and an extra point. This was the most missed kicks in a single week since 2017. Maybe Kicker lives don't matter. 

Kupp Check vs. The Bed Wrestlers: Winner Kupp Check

Zak's team went OFF, especially Goff and the Jacksonville House Cats. It was hot pussy on pussy pounding. The Dolphins are finally waking up and firing on all cylinders. Everything's coming up Zak. Keep it up! Nothing is coming up Garrett. This loss makes it 5-in-a-row for the former first-place holder. It's really bad, everyone decided they wanted single-digit scores. Jayden Daniels was in the MVP conversation early on, but he's been shit for like 5 weeks now and you're still trotting him out there. The top scorer on your team was Christian Watson and he was on the bench. Kicker total: 11 points. 

Brevor's Better Half vs. The Bad Hombres: Winner The Bad Hombres

Don't let Angel get hot, don't like him getting hot! Joe Burrow, Breece Hall and BROCK THE ROCK combined for 82 points! Angel managed to start the absolute best lineup possible and needed every point. Had Brett done the same thing, he would have won. Despite the many foibles of Justin Tucker, Angel still came out on top. Brett get's bad luck again as he has another close loss. This loss keeps Brett in the basement and launches Angel into 1st place in our division of shit. Brett, at least you get Garrett next week, that's like a bye week. Kicker total: 9 points. 

Kirko' 2 Canes vs. 2 Flushes: Winner Kirko' 2 Canes

I told you bitches it was over when Dissley caught that touchdown. I know my boys and aint no way in hell they're going to clutch up for me on Monday Night. I managed to catch Trevan on their worst week and I still lost. I deserve this Jobu punishment. I was hopeful after Thursday, Hurts and GoGurt did...okay, but Mildly Disturbing Terry only got 1.5. Well on Sunday my entire team decided they didn't want to play. Fucking depressing to look at really. The bench really isn't better. Let's just say I'm coming up with a neat idea for the Jobu trophy. My only consolation is that Josh Allen finally beat the Chiefs and if I had to lose this week for that to happen, so be it.. I'm really just doing my part for the "Josh Makes The Playoffs Challenge" Kicker total: 15 points. 

Razor Bearclaw Stinger vs. Catalina Wine Mixon: Winner Mixon

Brandon was led by his dynamic RB duo of Mixon and Allen, who combined for a combined 34.9 points! (Mixon got 34.3 of them.) Brandon also had standout TE Tucker Kraft drop a goose egg. I had to check, and apparently, he did play. Russ was not in the mood for cooking either and doordashed some Taco Bell. Bradon likely has 3 players on the Worst Team this week and somehow still won. He survived bye-week hell by beating Jeff. Jeff, umm, not a good look. If you had Scooby-Doo’d the most optimal lineup this week you could have prevented this. That would have involved starting Cam Akers over Aaron Jones though, which would have been a bold choice to say the least. Yeah, I still don't like Geno OR Caleb at this point in the season.  In the last 6 weeks, they have scored 20 points or more once each. Do better. Kicker total: 24 points (2nd best)

Puka Nacua Matata vs. Boys II ManChild: Winner Boys II ManChild

Cory also did his part for the "Josh Makes The Playoffs Challenge". He wasted the Sun God's amazing game against the alley cats. Rather the rest of your team decided they didn't need to try after that massive game. CJ Stroud still looks bad and his efforts on Monday could NOT deliver it for Cory. Jason is riding on the high horse of Bo Nix and the Broncos offense. It is weird to say, but the Broncos are actually good now and I wish they had beat the Chiefs so badly. Jason also got solid contributions from his 3-headed-hydra of a RB core. The Hock Tuah is back, but could only manage a little dribble for 2.3 points. Kicker total: 17 points. 

DID JOSH WIN?? Answer: No

Despite Cory and I doing our best to keep the dream alive Josh could not hold up his end of the deal. It wasn't without effort. Herby the Love Bug put up an amazing game and Puka was playing pissed after his bullshit ejection. They couldn't overcome Kelce and Emmanuel Wilson (????) scoring under 2 points each though. I don't know if this is the end, but it's not good. Chris had another amazing week, every single player scored at least 10 points with King Henry of all people bringing up the rear with 10.5 points. He keeps pace with Trevan for best record. Maybe after all this, it was because of Boswell the kicker. Do Kicker lives matter? That's for you to decide (They don't). 

Worst Team

QB Wilson 9.35

RB Allen 0.6

RB Jones 4.8

WR Wilson 1.7

WR Terry 1.5

FLEX Kelce 1.8

TE Kraft 0 

K Tucker 4

D Saints 6

TOTAL: 29.75

Much better than last week's but a bad day for people named Wilson. I'm excited for the end of the season. In part because I can stop yelling at the TV for games that do not involve the Rams. I'm not sure my fiance appreciated my autistic rantings about receiving yards and average points during a random ass Monday Night game. Also the Cowboys continue to suck ass, that's good for a hearty cheer of:

ALL HAIL MANCHILD